The ego-driven approach to music instruction reminds me of the used car salesman whose opening sale pitch was that their company sold thousands of cars each month.
He rattled on and on to me with successful sales quotes and impressive statistics.
Finally, he ended with:
I want YOU to walk off this lot with a new car!
Confused, I quietly said to him that this was all great for him and his business, but meant very little to me as a customer. I was more interested in finding a car that fit my needs rather than meeting his ego-driven, self-centered sales quota.
This caught him off-guard and he looked at me with great surprise.
Moments later, I walked off the lot and looked elsewhere to buy a car.
Positive characteristics
In “Is Self-Centered Web Copy Hurting Your Websites?” blogger Rick Sloboda outlines the good, the bad and the ugly in writing web copy.
He cites a list of basic human needs. It easily translates to a list of what a music student requires and what a teacher should aim to satisfy:
- Transcendence: help others realize their potential
- Self-actualization: realize your own potential, self-fulfillment, peak experiences
- Aesthetic: symmetry, order, beauty, balance
- Learning: know, understand, mentally connect
- Esteem: achieve, be competent, gain approval, independence, status
- Belonging: love, family, friends, affection
- Security: protection, safety, stability
- Physical: hunger, thirst, bodily comfort
These are all good general concepts for a teacher to be aware of. Conductors too.
Effective teachers are like detectives. They are problem-solvers and are as eager about teaching as the student is with learning. A good teacher is able to step beyond their own ego and keep the student’s needs in the forefront.
For students
As a music student, if you feel that your private teacher is not meeting your needs, politely talk to them about it. If they are open to the conversation it might help both sides move towards an improved lesson experience.
If the teacher is not open to this discussion, you might consider supplementing your learning with additional lessons from a different teacher.
Perhaps too, this may be a signal to move on to a new private teacher entirely.
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