Top 10 Ways to Provoke a Horn-Geek


How to get a horn geek riled up.

Horn aficionados and geeks as a general rule, are a pretty easy-going breed. But if we get riled-up, watch out!

We absolutely will not stop arguing until every last point that we can think of has been exhausted — at least twice.

So, what jibes can you use to provoke a horn geek? Glad you asked…

  1. French horn, French horn, FRENCH horn!!
    Calling the instrument by this name may induce vomiting, headaches and furrowed brows. See a physician if arousal lasts longer than 4 hours.
  2. Stopped horn lowers/raises the pitch one half-step.
    Want to get a professor going? This is a good start.
  3. Philip Farkas was not 100% right about everything.
  4. Triple horns are for wimps that can’t play high notes.
    Bound to get any first horn player’s panties in a bunch.
  5. Mellophones are an abomination.
  6. Kopprasch is boring.
    Gasp — blasphemy!
  7. A real horn player uses only the F-side of the double horn.
  8. Dale Clevenger sounds like a trumpet/Phil Meyers sounds like a tuba.
    This one is right up there with “if Batman and Spiderman got in a bar fight, who would win?”
  9. Hampel invented hand-horn technique.
    Another one to get the egghead crowd.
  10. The Kruspe-wrap design is far superior to the Geyer-wrap (or vice-versa).
    This is an classic debate that is bound to get almost any horn geek frothing at the mouth.
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