Archived under: Conductors, General, Humor | Halloween horns
Halloween Finale; Monster Horn Players
A monster of a different kind.
The final creature-feature in this week’s “Monster Mash” enjoyed an illustrious second career after retiring from horn playing. As the conductor of the Hollywood Monster Philharmonic, he brings respect and notoriety to an otherwise neglected ensemble.
“The Maestro’s beat is a little stiff,” says principal horn Frank N. Stein, “and it’s always a bit behind the orchestra.”
“But,” adds Stein, “there is no questioning his deep knowledge of historic performance practice. With his advanced age comes an incredible amount of experience.”
Third hornist Harry Wolfe offers a different opinion.
“He’s a real jerk sometimes, always giving me the ‘hand’ and saying that I am playing too loud,” asserts Wolfe. “I respect the Maestro, but I think that he has a problem with the kind of horn I play on – or maybe he is against my kind in general.”
“Sometimes I act out,” says Wolfe. “It’s in my nature. I can’t help it.”
Nevertheless, Mr. Wolfe – as well as all the musicians in the Philharmonic – regard the Maestro as a master and they treat him with the utmost respect.
Found in Mr. Wolfe’s forest lair for example, is a personalized photograph of the Maestro on display in a prominent location above the central hearth. It is carefully festooned with wolf’s bane, a rare perennial herb with broad rounded leaves and yellow flowers.
This appears to indicate that in stark contrast to his public comments, in private Mr. Wolfe remains loyal to – or perhaps in awe of – the Maestro and his musical prowess.
Related to this article
- Monster Mash Wednesday
The truth that Hollywood tried to hide! Today’s monster horn player had to overcome both physical and mental setbacks, most notably a lower jaw overbite and a general tendency to blast uncontrollably at some evening concerts. Artistic conflicts in the Monster Philharmonic are no different than... - Monster Mash Tuesday
The studio stills that Hollywood tried to hide! Tuesday’s classic Hollywood monster was an avid horn player trained in the finest old-school European tradition. He openly shared his experience and taught private lessons to a number of aspiring students. In his later years he became overly-obsessed... - Monster Mash Horn Section Week Begins
Hallowed Ween Humor Believe it or not…when not terrorizing innocent villagers with their wild antics, the classic Hollywood monsters we know and love played the French horn in their spare time to relax and to express the softer side of themselves. Proof you ask?! This week... - Monster Mash Thursday
A Halloween creature feature. “I am a big fan of Handel’s Water Music,” says Thursday’s featured monster horn player. “It is my favorite of course.” Gills and suction cups did not stop this creature from pursuing a life-long dream of playing the horn as a professional.... - Why Young Horn Players Need to Take Lessons with Horn Players
I was recently told a true story by a former student, one many horn teachers have heard. He inherited several young private students from another teacher. This teacher was a brass player but not a horn player. One of them he was told going in could... - What Horn Players Think About Trumpet Players
This week I led a brass sectional with the ASU Symphony Orchestra brass section. At the end of the sectional I was asked I believe jokingly by a trumpet player a question something like “what do horn players think about trumpet players.” At first I gave... - RIP Horn Players’ FAQ
As many know, a classic horn site, The Horn Players’ FAQ, is no longer. It was active from 1995 until July of 2007 and when launched it was an extremely useful resource for horn players. Ron Boerger wrote in the farewell note posted there that When...
Survey Results: Who's Who in Your Horn Universe?
Parody: Beadle the Hutt in Columbus
Malaguena Time
The Beethoven 9 Controversy
Horn Event Promotion 101: Two Approaches to Horn Concertos
