Parody: Horns of Different Flavors and American Gothic

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At some point, everyone believes that their instrument brand of choice is good and therefore perhaps good for others – this is perfectly natural and understandable. Less understandable is when this preference digresses into intolerance towards anyone or anything that is different or does not agree.

In the latest Horn Call

(Vol.XXXIX No.1),

Frøydis Ree Wekre observes in “Never Say Never – Again”:

This is an interesting and very often geographical ‘rule,’ mostly originating from one dominant teacher/player, who transfers his or her phobias to students and to other players who hope to get gigs in this neighborhood.

In a private lesson I sat in on long ago (in a place far, far away), a conversation went something like this:

Teacher:

What is this? (pointing to some tubing on the student’s horn)

Student:

(confused) What do you mean?

Teacher:

All that tubing there… it is…inefficient.

Student:

I like this horn.

Teacher:

(impatiently) Why do you play on that garbage bucket? Honestly…I do not understand why people play these horns. They are incredibly inefficient. You should play on my type of horn. It is far superior…it’s the finest horn ever made.

In the world of fine art, American Gothic (1930) hits on a similar theme. From the Art Institute of Chicago:

Some believe that [Grant] Wood used this painting to satirize the narrow-mindedness and repression that has been said to characterize Midwestern culture… The painting may also be read as a glorification of the moral virtue of rural America or even as an ambiguous mixture of praise and satire.

Mash these ideas together and you get this:

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