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Sometimes when I get contemplative about life, I look back and examine my past failures. Without a doubt, I have made some colossal mistakes and to be honest, some of them I remember with a bit of shame and embarrassment.
Introspection can be a good thing but, for myself at least, it can easily spiral out of control into disappointment, even sadness. So when looking back at past failures it is best for me to frame it in a positive light, even if it feels a bit forced.
I have no regrets about these failures. It is a natural part of being a human being, and I look at them as a learning opportunities to start over again, but with the added knowledge of what to avoid the next time.
The main goal with thoughtful introspection like this should always be to improve and build up the spirit, not to tear it down.
Baby steps lead to giant steps
A few years back, I took up weight lifting as a way to improve my health. It started out with very light weights, plenty of rest between exercises, and short sessions. Over time this progressed to heavier weights, less rest between exercises, and longer sessions.
In the weight-lifting world, there is a wealth of scientific research (and personal opinion) on pushing yourself to failure in order make “gains.”
It should be said however that mindlessly pushing yourself in this manner can have unintended consequences. While pushing to failure can be a good technique for building muscle, it can also lead to poor performance and an increased risk for injury, if left unchecked.
The mental and physical sides of failure
This train of thought can also apply to horn playing. Pushing yourself at a level that outpaces your body and mind’s ability to recover and adapt should not be the strategy of choice. Doing this on a regular basis can lead to physical injury and perhaps worse, a negative mindset where you start doubting yourself and your abilities.
Failure as an expectation in the practice routine
Years ago as a student, I adopted an intense practice method where physical failure in my facial muscles was expected at every practice session and sometimes, after every exercise within a session. It was viewed as a goal to aim for; an accomplishment in order to build strength and power in my playing.
My embouchure would hurt after those practice sessions and worse, I willfully ignored that pain and discomfort. This was all done with good intentions, but in hindsight I now realize how detrimental this approach was to my horn playing.
I mistakenly interpreted pain in my embouchure as a lack of effort, a weakness, an inefficient practice technique, or something like “well, I must not be trying hard enough.”
My playing would suffer for days, even weeks, after these intense sessions. Over time, this had a secondary effect on my confidence and my ability to maintain a positive mindset when playing solo and ensemble repertoire outside of the practice room.
In other words, I became my own worst enemy.
The effects of cumulative fatigue
From “Fatigue Explained” (an article on weight lifting) we have this to consider:
Cumulative fatigue interferes with training in 3 distinct ways. First of all, it lowers the athlete’s ability to perform maximally, both in force production and in technique execution. […]
The second reason fatigue interferes with training is by its direct effects on hormonal and intracellular adaptive pathways. As fatigue levels rise, so does the catabolic hormone of cortisol. […] you might even be able to push through being tired […], only to realize that most of your hard work did not turn on adaptive pathways nearly as much as usual, and your hard work was partially for naught.
Lastly, by summing up microtears and expanding their size over the weeks and months of hard training, cumulative fatigue increases the risk that such tears will lead to injuries. […]
Fatigue-mediated injuries usually take much longer than several weeks of hard training to become likely, but what is almost certainly true is that many months of hard training without a chance for microtears to heal completely is going to increase injury risk.
Improvement though failure
This all being said, I agree with the general sentiment that it is lazy to just get by in life without taking action to improve yourself. Pushing ourselves to do better is how we can grow – physically, mentally, and spiritually.
And to a certain degree, yes, failure demonstrates that we are making an effort. In our horn playing, occasionally pushing ourselves towards muscle failure can indeed lead to a stronger embouchure and better performance.
But, this approach can only be a stepping stone to success as long as its effects are carefully observed and taken into thoughtful consideration. Mindless practice with failure as the goal can have unintended consequences, to both your horn playing and your mental state of well-being.
A few ideas to consider:
- If you feel fatigue or discomfort in your chops, stop and think. Ask yourself, am I hurting or helping my chops? Be conscious of the fine line between pushing your chops to failure in order to build strength, and causing long-term damage.
- Be aware of fatigue accumulation in your practice and the mental trap of “not trying hard enough.”
- Think deeply about rest and recovery between exercises and practice sessions. Outpacing your ability to recover and adapt should not be the strategy of choice.
- Do not be afraid to take time off the horn. A day or two of rest after a heavy playing schedule will allow your chops the time they need to recover and stay limber.
- Forgive yourself and try to learn from mistakes and misjudgments in your practice methods. Talk with your teacher or a trusted colleague if you are feeling “off” with your chops. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. It is not a sign of weakness to admit that you have a problem.
