Random Monday: An old joke and critical obsessions

• English horn transposition charts?
  Another example of bad information on the web. You gotta watch yourself out there.

• New horn blog
  Be sure to check out James Boldin’s new blog.

• Hand in my bottom
  An old joke. Not sure what Bill Klingelhoffer has to do with this joke though. I took a lesson with him once – afterward I did not feel violated in the least.

• Embouchure tool from Warburton
  As an improved variation of the pencil trick, this device looks interesting.

• Three articles, three opinions on the state of classical music in America
  In “The Zero Option,” Terry Teachout asks if regional orchestras are no longer needed, while Bruce Robinson states that “everything’s fine.” Meanwhile, Anne Midgette contemplates “social consciousness” as an issue.

• New York Times music critics have a serious clam obsession
  Now that Times critics have picked up on the term “clam,” they can wag their pointed tongues and poisoned pens with even more delight.

  Week after week, there is at least one mention of horn flubs or clams in Times reviews. Isn’t it time to get over this? I worry about you poor critics. Seriously – do you guys like any horn music or horn players?

Excellent acoustics can cut two ways for performers, and French horn players in particular can be sure that, given the seaside setting, wags will delight in pointing out “clams,” as horn flubs are known in the trade; there were plenty of them here in the Wagner.

• Watching baseball with grandpa
  From a boston.com article, a book excerpt:

During one game, my grandfather suddenly maneuvered the La-Z-Boy into an alert 90-degree angle and began blowing air through a disconnected French horn mouthpiece. He had been the leader of a Dixieland band in his younger years.

The things he played on the mouthpiece were all indecipherable, with one exception. In a late inning the Red Sox got something cooking, and the old man took a deep breath and blew a monotone, spittle-thin version of the cavalry call — “Brapada brap pa braaa.’’

I didn’t like it. It was too corny and hopeful.