November 11, 2008 by Bruce Hembd

Archived under: Humor, Inspiration & The Big Picture

The Politics of Clamology (II)


Continued from Part I.

clam angel2 The Politics of Clamology (II)What about the much maligned “clam” – the common term used for cracked notes on the French horn?

Of course if you haven’t seen it already, a hilarious, tongue-in-cheek YouTube video “The Lexicon of Clamology” covers all the known terminology in detail, including demonstrations.

We have countless malapropisms for missed notes but they lack the sensitivity, the poetry and the diabolical wit of modern political propaganda. Music critics commonly use the politically obtuse phrase “spirited performance” as code for an energetic but technically imperfect concert, but beyond this I can’t think of many others.

Is it possible to say something yet nothing about our clams as deftly as politicians?

For your consideration:

  • mollusk of mass detraction
  • harmonic overpopulation
  • oversights of musical intent
  • performed with:
    frantic purpose, brutal elegance, barbaric gallantry or flawed perfection
  • a notational insurgency
  • collateral melodic damage
  • improvised error device (IED)
  • …a bitty boo-boo?

Any ideas?

[Further reading of interest: Propaganda Critic]

BRUCE HEMBD is a web marketing developer by day who plays French horn professionally at night.» More information about Bruce Hembd » More articles by Bruce Hembd » Contact

Related to this article


  • The Politics of Clamology (I)
    Channeling the spirit of William Safire and the much maligned clam. The phrases that politicos invent often fascinate me. It is a rhetorical art form that is at times both amusing and disturbing. In the era of sound bites, we no longer have the time or...
  • Horn 101: The Harmonic Series
    This summer I taught several younger students and I had to explain to all of them about the harmonic series. The harmonic series are the notes you can play on one fingering, most easily illustrated for the notes of the open F horn: If your horn...

Comments ()


The Politics of Clamology (II)
Published on November 11, 2008 by Bruce Hembd

Archived under: Humor, Inspiration & The Big Picture
John Ericson & Bruce Hembd
on the French horn, brass related topics, and the field of classical music.