Return of the Rancor in Columbus
Star Wars meets the Columbus Symphony.
I had originally posted this a while back, then took it down thinking that it might be too harsh or too off base. Putting Hirokami in the claw of the Buzz-monster was a spontaneous afterthought.
Little did I know that it might come to represent the sad truth.
The text accompanying this image in the original post:
A repulsive creature hidden in a shadowy chamber thrives beneath Beadle the Hutt‘s throne. A towering hulk of lethal reptilian skill, the rancor beast walks on stubby legs and has disproportionately long arms to capture fleeing prey.
Its armored skin is so thick that the beast can deflect almost anything – from personal insults to blaster bolts – as nothing more than minor annoyances.
The rancor serves the dual purpose of not only amusing the Hutt, but also disposing of unwanted servants, musicians, or anyone else the Hutt would want to get rid of.
With a shout of “Buzz Buzz Boska!” Beadle the Hutt can activate a secret trap door in front of his throne. The hapless victim (or victims) tumble into an underground chamber as a viewing grate opens to allow the gloating Hutt and his depraved gang of misfits a glimpse of the gruesome proceedings.
With his mighty claws and teeth, the rancor makes short work of any unfortunate soul dropped into the pit.
*
Satire and parody, loosely adapted from:starwars.com/databank/creature/rancor/
Related to this article
- Parody: Beadle the Hutt in Columbus
A Gloating Intergalactic Criminal * A hefty creature, Beadle the Hutt resembles a slithering, worm-like slug, with a legless, tapered body coated in slime. A wide, drooling toothless grin splits his face, and two yellow-red reptilian eyes stare covetously from his immense head. [Click the image... - Hopping on the Columbus Bandwagon
A recent comment by Columbus Symphony Orchestra Executive Director Tony Beadle in the Columbus Dispatch has caught my attention: “At the end of the day, people have to understand that we’ve got a huge dinosaur here that has to be fed 500 bales of hay a... - A Royal Flush in Columbus
More satire on the mess in Columbus. The blogosphere – especially of late – has been ablaze with pointed commentary on the Columbus Symphony Orchestra. Terms like “homicide” are frequently being used to describe what their board is doing. CSO clarinetist David Thomas quipped at his... - Whiskey Tango Foxtrot in Columbus?
The latest in Columbus The tangled web in Columbus continues to get more bizarre. Management has offered a contract settlement but only if the musicians agree to betray their music director. Yet another board member reveals their ignorance and indifference this time in the Wall Street... - Dodging Bullets in Afghanistan
More Columbus Symphony Orchestra satire. David Thomas of The Buzzing Reed has commented on the strange rhetoric in a recent WOSU radio interview with Buzz Trafford and Tony Beadle. Among the banter was a very bizarre comparison between the Columbus arts scene and Afghanistan. The presumed... - Columbus Symphony Thoughts
Reading other music blogs lately the Columbus Symphony is in the news for not great reasons, they are facing a possible shutdown on June 1. It is a difficult time, I do wish them well. I am not as down on the arts as some out... - Beadle Gets a Clam
When will he ever learn? This is the question I asked myself while reading Columbus Symphony Orchestra Executive Director Tony Beadle’s latest quote from the Columbus Dispatch: I lament people leaving the orchestra; that’s for sure,” he said. “But every time we have an opening, there...
Horn 101: Does My Horn have a Bb Tuning Slide?
Just Say “No” to Transposed Parts
On Phrasing in Mozart
The Solo Alto
