The Father’s Day Post

With Father’s Day upon us this weekend my thoughts have turned to my father and a post from my original blog dated 7/11/05. Titled “Thoughts from the road,” it is perhaps the most personal post I have ever written for the blog. While the focus is my dad it does still touch on many things related to the horn and horn playing. I spent as much time as I could with my parents that summer, basically all the time I had that was not committed to ASU or to my summer teaching and playing at the Brevard Music Center in North Carolina. At the end of the post I have a few more thoughts.

In this blog and in my teaching I generally avoid topics that touch on religion and politics, but as life touches on these at times you can’t always totally avoid them. The past ten days have been a fairly intense time for me. A lot of time was spent driving down the road, always a good time to think and reflect on the horn and on life. While I won’t digress as far from horn playing as the folks on the “Memphis” horn list do at times, the following goes a bit further than normal for me.

The beginning was calling my mom during the intermission of a dress rehearsal last Saturday. I was about to rehearse the Tchaikovsky Violin Concerto with Joshua Bell as soloist but had a message from my brother and called my mom in Kansas. My dad (who has esophageal cancer) had a serious downturn, it was looking really bad, and none of my relatives were there yet although several were in transit. It was really hard to focus on counting rests after that conversation.

Sunday things still looked bad. He was not responsive and as per his wishes his feeding tube and water and oxygen were disconnected. I still had my concert to play that afternoon so I used my morning to finish reading Mozart in the Jungle, a new book out on real life, at least one version of it, in the arts. For the record, my experience was rather different coming up in the arts than that presented in the book. I am only a little younger than the author and while I knew there were people into sex, drugs and classical music, I was just too busy practicing and maybe a bit better grounded with my family and faith to be impacted (and had teachers with perhaps a bit better character). And, the jobs I won were I feel won fairly, based on my qualifications not on connections. But certainly an interesting read.

Anyway, I made it through the concert and as dad was still unresponsive I left afterwards, drove a ways, then drove the rest of the way on July 4. I had a lot of anxiety to deal with in relation to the worst case scenario taking place in Kansas but it was still a very nice drive. I especially enjoyed passing through Nashville. In Mozart in the Jungle the author had a bit of a mid-life crisis at age 35 and I found this interesting in relation to the horn section in Nashville. When I was there four of us in the horn section all turned 35 the same year and we all had our own versions of the mid-life crisis. While I enjoyed what I was doing on the whole in Nashville and would recommend playing in an orchestra as a career, looking ahead I could not see spending the next 30 years doing what I was doing, I wanted to make more of an impact on lives and was very interested in teaching. I am very thankful for the opportunities I have had since then and continue to have now in the areas of teaching and performing, I feel very blessed.

As I drove the long drive I thought a lot. Musically I listened several times to one rather sad tape I have by Meir Rimon, Nigunim, and to some favorite Keith Green songs. Both of these artists have passed on. Meir Rimon (1946-1991) made some very unique and interesting horn recordings toward the end of his life that I would recommend to anyone out there looking for something different, and I found the Keith Green songs encouraging yet again, in spite of the grim experience I was anticipating in the coming days.

I got to my dad’s hospital room at 8:45 PM and at 8:15 a miracle had happened! Dad woke up and was responsive. He was happy to see me and asked me how I was doing. Amazing!! I went straight from looking at walking into the worst case scenario any family could face to the best case scenario. What a gift. We had him hooked back up to his food and water!

As I was really wired, later that night I watched the repeat of the Nashville Symphony July 4 concert on TV. That was pretty interesting. Compared to when I left Nashville only two members of the old horn section are still in the orchestra and only one was playing the concert. When I was in the section Joy Worland was second horn but after I left she moved to my old job (third horn) and also moves up to principal horn on concerts like this as did I. She sounded quite good and to my perception played more aggressively than I remember her style being–bravo! Sometimes you just need to hear people in a new position or performing situation to appreciate their talent better. I played first horn on the same concert five times; the main change besides more “stars” and being broadcast nationally was they played the music that was an underscore to the fireworks live instead of running a recording. When I was there, after 1812 overture, we were out of there, in our cars driving away before the end of the fireworks display.

The next few days at home were not terribly eventful but it was great to be there to help out my mom and to sit with my dad. A part of the stuff I helped out with was at the farm and in the garden. Visiting them I always realize that so many aspects of the upbringing of every person are unique. In my own case, growing up in a small town, the son of a chemistry professor who had the hobby of farming but also loved singing certainly made its mark on me.

Dad’s prognosis is still not great, he does not have that long to live, but he is past this hurdle at least. Dad calls me an eternal optimist, but I do believe he has some good time left.

At the same time, it is good to be back at Brevard teaching and playing. Emotionally I know I am a bit on edge still, it is a bit of a tough time on a personal level, but the trip certainly has given me new resolve about my teaching, playing, and writing projects and deeper thoughts of my family and life in general.

While I was glad for that extra time with dad, it was still a bit of a rough summer. We all get a bit on edge eventually and it came out for me in relation to one former colleague in particular. While I would like to think that music is full of the best of people, in reality you have the entire range from the best to the worst with some odd people with really big egos thrown in the mix. I think I was able to move on and not be a part of the problem in relation to some of the stresses that summer, and sometimes that is the best you can do. This summer is much more relaxing.

Returning to the topic at hand, my dad Alfred T. Ericson Jr. had a few more good months but passed away that October. While he had been a chemistry professor he was also my first brass teacher. As I noted in another post from 11/6/05 in my original blog:

Somehow out on a farm near Quincy, Kansas, Dad had learned to play trumpet well enough (mostly through his Dad) to play in the marching band in college, and also he loved to sing and took voice lessons as a non-major in college as well.

We owned two trumpets when I started out on trumpet [in 6th grade] and that first year I vividly recall playing my music together with Dad in our basement. I had not studied music before then, no piano, just singing at church, and certainly he has to be counted as my first private brass teacher. Just having the music around was a big influence on me I am sure as well.

I switched from trumpet to horn in ninth grade. I played “beyond the sunset at his graveside service just a couple miles from where he was born, and will be down to the farm again helping my mom the week before the IHS Denver event.

Make the most of the time you have with your loved ones while you can. As to me, for Father’s Day I will be spending time with my son. This morning we went to the McCormick-Stillman Railroad Park, and then out to his favorite place for lunch (Home Town Buffet). We had a really nice time, and talked a bit about my dad. My son can’t communicate well [he has Down Syndrome] but talking about grandpa I know registered for him. The photo is of him with trains at our home, he has become a train fan lately.